Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
