what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
