Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
