Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
