Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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