in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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