OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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