So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
