I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
