That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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