If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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