I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
