What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
