i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize