he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize