Are we in a gay sports bar?
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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