Pants 0. Shit 1.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
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