so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
