I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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