Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
