What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
