I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
