So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Randomize