Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
This is the high leading the old right now
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
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