Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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