You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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