I don't usually arrange sex via text message
you guys were way drunker than both of me
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
