Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
