We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
