Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
