the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
