Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
