im gay
i know
yea but for you.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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