her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
