so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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