We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Randomize
