so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
The uberlube is also flammable
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I need to calm my uterus...
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
