So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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