He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Randomize
