So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
