You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
