just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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