I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
