So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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