dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
