Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
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