i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
