We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
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