is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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