I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize