Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
