I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
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