ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
