My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
