there was a trapeze. enough said
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
