He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Randomize
