Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
