Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
