A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
