And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Randomize
